Love Triangle
by randomplotbunny
Summary: Bruce Wayne finally meets the Joker- and likes him! The Batman isn't happy about this and tries to keep the two apart. What is a homicidal clown to do when his new lover is also his arch nemesis? Try to date them both of course! BrucexJokerxBatman
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Just so you know I always imagine Joker as the starkly white, green haired, chemically scarred mad man that I grew up with. But if you want to imagine him a different way I won't try to stop you._

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything other than the plot I'd be doing a happy dance.**

It was 'Billionaire Bruce Wayne's Thirtieth Birthday', and anyone who was anyone just had to be there.

Dignitaries and Diplomats, Celebrities of high fame all the way down to the most recent flash-in-the-pan Superstar, Old money and New- they all showed up if the managed to get an invitation.

And once they arrived they made sure to be seen by as many people as possible. Every person posed and preened for the multitude of cameras circling the ballroom like vultures.

All except for one man- the Birthday Boy. He had managed to slip away to a quiet balcony unnoticed for the simple fact that no-one had yet to recognize him. He just wanted a moment alone- and maybe a plan on how to remove those vapid people from his home- but what he got was an unexpected visitor.

"Oh my! What have we here? Is it the birthday boy? Why I think it is! Tell me birthday boy: why do I find you out here, in the open, instead of inside where I can make a proper scene?" Looking into deadly green eyes Bruce felt the Batman stir at the back of his mind, preparing to take over and take out the mad clown before them.

But for now Bruce held him back and decided to simply see where this encounter would take him. After all, he wanted to get away from this horrible party. What better way to do that than with the help of Gotham's most wanted mad man?

And if things got out of hand, Batman could always step forward and take the clown out. Satisfied he had found the perfect escape, Bruce fully turned towards the purple suited man.

Just as he opened his mouth to flippantly ask if the mad clown had actually received an invitation, the balcony doors opened. Moving by pure instinct, Bruce dove behind a pillar- accidentally bringing the Joker with him.

Giving a cautious look around his makeshift shield, the tall man turned to the shocked clown at his side. Deciding that he might feel better to get it all off his chest, Bruce let himself honestly vent to probably the only person who wouldn't judge him harshly for it.

"I am out here because not more than two percent of the total guests in my home tonight actually know who I am, and of those that do know me they are only here to have their picture taken and to ask me for money. It is very annoying as you can imagine, I'm sure. I would, in fact, prefer to be just about anywhere else tonight- this is no way to celebrate a birthday. And I don't care what the ton thinks on that matter!" The last was said towards the closed balcony doors.

Composing himself, Bruce looked around to see that the Joker had a very contemplative look on his face. As the Batman tensed anew, Bruce gave a huff- it was only half contrived- and decided to continue as he had begun.

"You're here to ask me for money too, aren't you." At the small nod and big puppy dog eyes he received, he gave a small laugh. Why was he so relaxed around the psycho when he could hear all of the Batman's warnings in his ear?

Shaking off the thought when the door opened again, and diving behind the pillar once more- only this time he purposely brought the Joker with him- Bruce decided on what he wanted to do for his birthday.

Looking at the clown that he still held close- and wishing fervently that whoever had come outside would quickly go back inside- Bruce asked the clown a simple question.

"WHAT?!" Shushing the Clown Prince of Crime, the billionaire repeated himself.

"I said: Would you please kidnap me tonight? You see, I wasn't lying when I said I'd rather be anywhere else. If you like I can pay you a healthy ransom upfront for my safe return once the infestation of my home has run its course." Giving as pleading a smile as he could manage, Bruce waited for a reply.

It took a few moments- during which time the unwanted guest had gone back inside, leaving the balcony door open- but the clown finally gave a wide smile.

"Ten million and I'll gladly be your personal Party Clown all evening long." Bruce could now hear the shrill laughter coming from inside, so he didn't even hesitate to agree with the clown- even though he could also hear Batman grumbling in the far recesses of his mind.

But this was his night and he could do with it what he liked! And if things got out of control, then Batman could take over and do as he pleased. With that last decisive thought Bruce felt Batman settle down into a watchful presence behind his eyes- it was a comforting feeling- as he transfered the money to an off shore account.

With a shout, the Joker grabbed Bruce by the wrist and practically dragged him to the garage.

"I've always wanted to drive a Porsche!" Was the the last thing said before they were tearing off down the road, the crazed clown at the wheel and the billionaire holding on for dear life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: So not mine.**

"So Brucey-boy, what do billionaires usually do for fun?" The mad clown asked with a smirk. Bruce decided to answer honestly- it had worked so far.

"I don't really know. I've been working to take over my family's business almost my whole life, I've never really had time to have fun. Heading off with you is probably the wildest thing I've ever done." He could practically feel the Batman rolling his eyes.

"Ahh, poor little Brucey. Never having any fun. But never fear! Your friendly neighborhood clown will help change all that!" As the clown broke out into hysterical giggles Bruce couldn't help but wonder how the man could still steer straight.

_He's had a lot of practice_, came the reply from behind his eyes. Blinking away the distracting voice Bruce focused in on what the Joker was saying now.

"One thing I don't get Brucey: I always see you on the news living the high life, a different girl on your arm to every event. So why do you say you never have any fun?" As questioning green eyes scrutinized him Bruce hastened to answer- they were travelling close to a hundred miles an hour, the clown needed to focus on the road a bit more!

"All a cover." He could feel Batman tense up at that. Giving a silent reassurance to the grumbling vigilante the billionaire continued his explanation.

"I do my best to play up the play-boy angle, I've found that it's the best way to keep people from trying to involve me in long-term relationships- I just don't have time for things like that." Especially not with a second person in my head, he mentally added.

_I heard that. _Suppressing a chuckle at the affronted tone ringing through his mind, Bruce continued.

"My 'dates' are all models hired for the events- I can't even remember the last time I went on a real date. And I make sure to be seen and photographed at large events, but the smaller ones I just show up to be seen and then leave." Giving a sigh he rubbed his eyes with a hand.

"All my free time is taken up by my work, I just don't have the time for a real life. Though, it would be nice to have one." He said the last sentence in an undertone, but his psychotic clown driver heard him anyway.

It broke something inside of the Joker's black heart to know that this man, who could have anything he wanted, had never had any fun. Deciding right then to forget his original plan of slitting pretty-boy's throat and stealing his money, the Joker smiled at his new plan for the night.

He would show this poor billionaire the time of his life! And just hope that his Batsy didn't show up too early and ruin the fun.

As they drove further into Gotham proper Bruce finally gave into the grumblings coming from behind his eyes. Turning towards the Joker- they had slowed to a reasonable speed so he didn't feel too concerned about distracting him- Bruce asked Batman's question.

"So, where are we headed?" Startled by the sudden question- he really had no idea on how to begin the night- the Joker um'ed and ahh'ed for a few moments. Suddenly snapping his fingers he knew just where to go.

"The arcade! We can drop some quarters, eat lots of junk food and hang with the other delinquents!" Giving himself over to more laughter he made a hard turn doing fifty. Tonight should be a night to remember!

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

Bruce- much to his surprise, and certainly to the Batmans'- was having a spectacular time in the arcade!

Though the food was heavy in grease and the games overly simplistic- at least if you play around with supercomputers regularly- the company was nice.

As the two grown men- one in a tuxedo and the other in a garish purple suit that every citizen of Gotham knew and feared- went head to head in every two player game they could find, Mortal Combat becoming their fast favorite, and Bruce felt himself relaxing for what felt like the first time in years; perhaps even decades.

With a laugh at the most recent anecdote to come from his companion- the Batman only sneered, he had never found the clown funny- Bruce added more quarters to the machine to start their ninth round- it was to be their tie breaker.

As he stood up to take his place at the console a massive wave of police jumped the clown and he was pulled away with reassurances that he would be fine now.

Looking on in confusion at the- not struggling- clown he had just been having fun with, Bruce tried not to show surprise at the wink he received. Or at the next comment to come from the green-haired man.

"Ah shucks, and I didn't even get to hold him for ransom! 'Till next time Brucey-kins!" Making kissy faces the Joker let himself be dragged from the building before he broke free and made his escape.

As Bruce was too stunned at the sudden turn his night had taken- He had been having fun on his birthday for once!- he let Batman take over and weave a tale about what had happened that night, as well as answer all the questions thrown at him.

-He had been approached by the Joker at his Birthday Party earlier that night and had gone willingly with him to protect his guests. He had tried to pretend to have a good time to stay on the mad man's good side.

-No, he had not been personally threatened.

-No, he did not know why he hadn't been.

-Yes, he did know that the Joker almost always used physical violence. He lived in Gotham didn't he? Of course he knew all about the mad man!

-No, he had not been extorted for money.

-Again no, he didn't know why he hadn't been.

-No, he wouldn't be pressing charges as no harm had been done. He just wanted to go home.

Finally allowed to leave, the Batman rushed home.

His house was thankfully clear of guests- most had fled after hearing that the Joker had been seen nearby, the rest left when not enough attention was being paid to them by the newly distracted reporters- and so he was able to quickly make his way to the cave and change into his suit.

Now comfortable in his own skin he headed out.

Commissioner Gordon filled him in on what was happening: the Joker had abducted Bruce Wayne earlier that night and forced him to play arcade games to protect his guests. They had no idea what the clown was up to, but whatever it was couldn't be good.

With a promise to speak to Bruce Wayne himself later that night, the Batman left police headquarters and went in search of the Harlequin of Hate

He had to find the clown and figure out what he had been planning for Bruce. The Batman had been created to protect Bruce- both mentally and physically- and was not about to let that psycho ruin all the hard work he had done!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We all know I don't own them, so can we please get on with the story?**

It didn't take long to find the clown- he hadn't really been hiding- and the Batman quickly cornered him in the warehouse. Not wasting anytime he got right to the point.

"Just what is your game this time, Joker?" He could feel Bruce's interest in this line of questioning but chose to ignore him in favor of the threat in front of him.

"Game? No game, my fine flying rodent, just a bit of fun!" Approaching the Batman the Joker put on a mock concerned expression.

"You do know what fun is, don't you? It's that thing you do when you're not being so serious." With a sudden leap the Clown Prince of Crime knocked Batman a hard blow to the head. As the vigilante lay dazed he saw a purple clad pair of legs crouch near him.

"Truthfully Batsy, I was just trying to show little Brucey a good time. It's sad to see someone not having a good time- especially when they could be having a great time with me!" The legs shifted and Batman could hear movement around him now.

'"Oh! that reminds me: I still owe him a night of fun! Seeing as how our last one was so rudely interrupted. Did you know I got jumped by cops tonight? Cops! How degrading! If Brucey hadn't been in such shock just from the ambush I would have taken the lot of them out."

_Does this mean that he didn't hurt anyone because he was afraid of my reaction? _Not having an answer he was willing to give to that Batman ignored Bruce and tried to focus on where he thought the Joker was standing now. A foot on his shoulder pushed Batman onto his back.

He was still woozy, but he would be up and about soon- he just hoped the clown would keep talking and not notice his recovery until it was too late. The Joker was looking down at him now with a contemplative look- that was never a good sign.

"I seem to have grown attached to him in record time." The green eyes looked through the vigilante without really seeing him. With a shake the mad man spread one of his signature smiles across his face.

"He's good company, but don't worry too much Batsy! I'm sure you'll always be my favorite!" Leaning down the clown pressed a kiss to a masked forehead. As he walked off he called over his shoulder.

"And don't go picking on Brucey about this now! He's a good kid and deserves more than being harassed by a crazed man in a bat costume." With a final laugh the Joker left the warehouse.

Not long after his exit, Batman had regained full use of his limbs. Climbing into the Batmobile he sped off home while ignoring the waves of happiness coming from behind his eyes.

As soon as he parked, Batman stalked passed Alfred to glare into the nearest mirror. He had put up with this quite long enough!

"Just what were you thinking tonight?! The Joker is my most crazed enemy! You can't make friends with him!"

"Hey! He was on his best behavior with me while we were out! And you heard it for yourself: he likes me! Between you and Wayne Corp I don't have a life of my own or any real friends! You spend most of your time obsessing over the Joker anyway, so why can't I be friends with him?!"

"Sirs?" Alfred finally cut in. Oh, how he hated watching his Master arguing with himself like this! If only there was a way to combine the two personalities back into one. But, alas, that didn't seem likely to happen anytime soon, if ever.

"What?!"

"Yes, Alfred?" Being addressed by two people in one body would always be confusing for the old retainer.

"A package arrived by special courier from the Joker for Master Bruce." Handing the box over the butler made his retreat. He had found it wise to never stay too close when Bruce Wayne and Batman were fighting.

Taking the box to an empty work table, Bruce was all set to tear it open; but Batman held him back. Carefully examining the package and running several tests he grudgingly announced that it would be safe to open.

Bruce stepped forward as Batman stepped back, and the billionaire set about opening whatever it was that the Joker had sent him.

It was all the tickets they had won at the arcade! And on the bottom of the box a note had been scrawled: See you again soon! J

With a growl Batman stalked off to his personal section of their shared mind. He couldn't stand to talk about this anymore!

Bruce rolled the tickets up and placed them back in the box. He would save them as a souvenir of the best birthday he had had since his parents... he wouldn't think about that.

Removing the Batsuit- he never liked wearing the thing himself and had always wondered how Batman could enjoy it- he headed up to his room for a quick shower and a lie down. He didn't know when the Joker would show up again, so he would try to be as ready as possible.

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

Three weeks passed and not a word was heard from the Joker by either Bruce or Batman, and Bruce had begun to listen when Batman told him that that night had been a fluke and not to expect too much from a psychopath.

For his part Batman had been trying to track down the money the Joker had gotten from Bruce, but was having no luck. It was as if it had simply vanished- just like the mad man himself. He was wondering just when the clown would make himself known again.

They were at a charity auction. Bruce and several other rich and eligible bachelors were being sold off like slabs of meat to the highest bidder to help orphans. They would have to take their winner out for a date, and the winner would hope to snag their hearts and their pocketbooks.

Bruce was the last up as they had been lined up alphabetically. When he stepped out on the small stage a bidding frenzy began.

"Twenty thousand!" From an old crone and her even uglier granddaughter.

"Thirty!" From somewhere at a table of plastic surgery nightmares.

"Fifty!" The Old Money began to weigh in. They would not let any of these New Money upstarts grab hold of the Wayne family fortune if they could help it.

"Sixty!"

"Seventy!"

"Seventy-five!"

"One hundred!"

Bruce was starting to feel sick. The only reasonably attractive person to bid on him had been pushed to the wayside long ago, and he didn't know how he would survive any length of time with the gargoyles bidding on him now.

_Don't even think of asking me. I would do an even worse job than you. _Batman said from his position behind Bruce's eyes. He was having a great time knowing that he wouldn't be the one having to entertain one of these air heads all evening.

With a silent groan Bruce turned his attention back to the room. It had been a thought at least.

The bidding had gotten up to two hundred thousand now, and only two tables were still going: the Old Money and the plastic surgery rejects.

Resigning himself to a torturous evening he almost missed the- very male- voice from the back of the room.

"One million dollars!" All heads turned to see who had bid such a high amount.

He was tall, trim and had an air of purpose and power that the Old Money approved of. He looked wealthy in a well cut dark plum suit and dark forest green shirt. His brown hair framed a charming angular face, he had a nice complexion and wore a smirk that made people feel he had just made a joke at their expense. No-one could see his eyes though- they were covered by round, purple tinted sun glasses.

As everyone took in the sight of the mystery man- mystery to everyone except a pissed off Batman and an exuberant Bruce- the auctioneer banged his gavel.

"Going once! Going twice! Sold! to Mr. Napier for one million dollars."

Bruce descended from the stage and made his way over the his date for the evening, and ignored all the whispers about his being bought by a man. It wasn't as if he had never been with a man before- he had never really cared what sex a person was as long as they were interesting- it had just never been in a public setting until now.

Giving a small, and unexpected, blush when the Joker- Mr. Napier, according to the auctioneer- kissed his hand, Bruce felt Batman ready himself to pounce on the disguised man in front of them.

_Don't you dare! Would you rather have gone out with pig-face or skeletor? _Not receiving a reply, Bruce took his silence as affirmation.

_I thought not. _Turning a smile towards his date Bruce leaned forward a bit so only his companion would hear.

"Thank you. I was so afraid I was going to be stuck with one of those monsters."

"Not a problem, Brucey! And now that I have you on legitimate terms... What say you to finishing out your birthday celebration? Hmm?" Letting his smile slip wider, Bruce had a better idea- one he was sure Batman would hate.

"My birthday was almost a month ago, so it wouldn't feel right to celebrate it. But... you did just buy a date with me. What say you let a lowly billionaire treat you to a dinner and a show?" Bruce could feel the shock radiating from Batman.

_Did you just ask the Joker on a date? Have you gone insane?!_

Looking at Bruce over the tops of his sun glasses, Joker gave a lecherous smile.

"Oh, Brucey! Do I get a good night kiss as well?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: They belong to me only in my dreams. Other than that I don't own a thing.**

"So... Napier?" Asked Bruce while driving his black Viper to his favorite restaurant.

"Yep." Replied the disguised clown.

"How did you come up with that?" He could feel Batman's curiosity being peaked at that question. With a shrug the Joker explained.

"It's just a name- Jack Napier- and one a lot less conspicuous than my own." Nodding in understanding Bruce made a turn.

"True, but I prefer your other name. Even if 'Jack' suits you while you're disguised like this, I prefer thinking of you as the one and only Joker."

"Why thank you Brucey! I prefer being myself too, but it's a lot easier to pass unnoticed as a regular person than as The Clown Prince of Crime. Especially when you're going on a date with the most eligible bachelor in town." Pulling up to the valet parking at the restaurant there was a momentary lull in their conversation.

After being shown to the best table the place had to offer Bruce asked the question that had been on his mind- as well as the Batman's of course- since the auction.

"So why a million? I'm not quite sure I'm actually worth that much, even for charity." A sad smile flashed across make-up covered features before quickly smoothing out.

"Don't disparage yourself Brucey, you're worth more than you think. And as for spending a million on you... Well, I had to discourage those trolls from trying to out bid me didn't I?" Taking a sip of his water the clown waited until a shy smile appeared on his billionaire's face before he continued.

"But don't go thinking that I wasted a large chunk of change tonight, I didn't. I've spent the last few weeks in Metropolis at the stock exchange, another couple of weeks and I'm sure to rival you in personal funds."

"Wait... you're J. Napier? The brilliant freelance accountant that has been leading the financial world by its nose for the last couple of weeks?"

"The one and the same." 'Jack' grinned and Bruce could only stare in amazement. Taking a drink from his glass to stall for time he tried to voice his awe.

"I've been trying to head-hunt him- you- for Wayne Corp ever since I first heard of his genius. How...wha-" He could only splutter as the Joker just smirked.

When the waitress came by 'Jack' ordered for them both as Bruce didn't seem inclined to do much else other than stutter. Putting on one of his best seductive smirks he decided to try for flustered embarrassment instead.

"My dear Mr. Wayne, do you want me under you?" It worked, Bruce went from awed amazement to a blushing mess; it made the Joker smile to know that he could so easily fluster this man.

"Jok-Jack, I-I..." _Pull yourself together Bruce, he's just winding you up! _Batman shouted from his watching place.

Taking a breath and another sip of his drink Bruce calmed himself, but he couldn't stop blushing. Finally making eye contact once more he changed the subject to something a little more lighthearted.

Soon they were having a pleasant conversation that lasted until well after dessert. It was the most pleasant date Bruce could remember ever being on, and he told the Joker so as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"I just don't feel as if I have to pretend to be someone else around you, it's a nice feeling." He shyly stated while Batman just rolled his eyes at the sentiment.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. You're the first person to actually get my humor for what it is, even Harley doesn't get it most of the time." The sudden flare of jealousy Bruce felt at the mention of the clown's partner in crime was new, and he didn't know what to do with it.

"So... Harley. Your girlfriend, right?" He may have missed the calculating look that was shot towards him, but the Batman didn't.

"No. She's a sweet enough girl- they all are once you've driven them over the deep end- but I've never really liked the fairer sex much. I much prefer a strong body under my hands." His flirty smile did a lot to make Bruce feel better, at least it did until he remembered that it was usually directed at someone else.

"So, is that why you chase Batman all over the place?" _Don't drag me into this. _Grumbled the vigilante.

"Partly. Bruce are you jealous?" Hands tightening on the wheel Bruce couldn't dispute that.

"Oh Brucey, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation then you should know that I've only had eyes for you since we met." Giving a blinding smile the clown rested a hand on a muscular thigh, causing Bruce to stiffen in a whole different way.

"Joker, what..."

"It's alright, just keep driving Brucey. We'll take this as slow as you want." Giving a quick squeeze the clown removed his hand.

Resisting the urge to grab that hand and place it back- he only didn't because of Batman's angry growl- he drove them back to the auction house.

As he walked his date to his own car- a beautiful vintage Shelby Mustang in a deep metallic purple that just seemed to scream 'I belong to the Joker!' from ever slick curve- Bruce asked the all important question.

"Would you like to do this again sometime?" _What? No! One date was bad enough, you are not going to see him again!_

"I'd love to Brucey!" Snaking a hand around the others' neck the Joker pulled the billionaire into a deep kiss.

Teeth clacking and tongues battling for dominance the Joker smirked as Bruce finally gave in and let him take the lead. Pulling back after a few minutes only because they needed air, they looked deeply into each others eyes.

"I'll be in touch Brucey." Slipping away with a smirk the Joker left a stunned Bruce standing in the middle of the parking lot as he drove off.

Now all he had to do was make sure to let the Batman know that he was no longer on the market, and that they couldn't go dancing together anymore- though he would miss the explosions.

He didn't yet know where this thing was going with Brucey, but he wouldn't hurt the sweet man by betraying his trust by seeing someone else behind his back.

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

A bus load of hostages and a threat of Joker bombs, it was a clear invitation and Batman couldn't pass it up.

"Do you see what he is capable of?" Batman asked the rearview mirror as he drove to where the hostages were being held. When no answer was forth coming he turned his attention back to the road.

"Fine, but when you finally realize just how crazy he really is don't say I didn't warn you." As they arrived the first thing he noticed was how quiet it was- far to quiet for when the Joker was involved.

"Over here, Bats!" Came a call from one of the warehouses.

Entering cautiously he looked around for the clown. Spotting the bus he looked inside, everyone seemed to be alive but unconscious.

"I only needed them to get you here. You can have the dubious honor of 'rescuing' them after we talk." As he spoke the Joker moved to a cheap patio table set up with a tea service.

"Tea? I know it's very Hatter of me, but I thought I'd try to make this as pleasant for both of us as possible." Pouring two cups the clown held one out to the masked crime-fighter.

"I'm not drinking that, and we have nothing to say to each other. I don't know what your game is, but I'm taking you back to Arkham tonight." Stepping towards the madman he was suddenly hit by a wave of dizziness.

"I figured you'd say something like that." The Joker gently settled the disoriented man in the chair opposite his own before taking a seat himself.

"The tea... but I didn't..." He had to fight this, but it was hard since it had already taken a hard hold on him.

"It was the fumes rising from it, you breathed it in. I gave the bus people a much stronger dose so they are completely out and not about to bother us, but I just needed you to sit quietly so that we could talk." Taking a sip from his own cup the Joker watched as the Bat tried to fight the effects.

"You...not...getting...away..." _Just relax already. He's obviously gone to a lot of trouble just to talk to you, the least you could do in listen to him this once. _Bruce stated helpfully.

"Now listen Batsy, I wanted to talk about something very serious." As bleary eyes tried to focus in on him he continued.

"You see I've met someone, someone who gets me better than you do." What the hell was the clown talking about now, thought the drugged Bat.

_I think he's trying to let you down easy- he's dumping you! _Bruce answered the unvoiced question.

"Now I know that I've always said we were perfect for each other, but I'm starting to think you have not been as committed to this relationship as I've been." He wanted to argue that they had never been in a relationship to begin with but the stun gas held him still.

"My new guy finds my jokes funny, and I find him charmingly adorable. I've never felt this protective over someone before in my life, so... This is goodbye Batsy." Standing from the cheap table he moved to the paralyzed man's side.

"Maybe we'll see each other again sometime, but we can't dance anymore- I don't want him to think I condone cheating." Patting Batman on the cheek the Joker started to walk off.

"So long Batsy, and don't worry; I'm sure I can find something new to fill up my time now that we're not going to be seeing anymore of each other. Just try not to be too bored without me around, okay?" The sound of a door opening and shutting made its way to the still stunned man's ears.

A silent argument started up soon after.

_I never dated him!_

_I know, but it was sweet of him to let you down easy; wasn't it?_

_Sweet?! He paralyzed me!_

_Sweet in his own way, I meant. At least I can see the humor in all this. Why can't you?_

_Because he's a homicidal maniac, that's why!_

_You just don't know him the way I do._

_Know him?! I've known him for years! You're the one who doesn't know him!_

_Jealous much?_

"What?!" Realizing he could move once more Batman hurried back to his car. Calling the police with an all clear he drove them home.

"And just what will you do when he wants to get 'intimate'?" Saying the last word as if physically hurt him he continued.

"He gave me half our scars. He'll recognize them the moment he sees them." When he received no reply he gripped the wheel a bit harder.

"Besides, he doesn't even want you. He wants me."

_And if that isn't a statement of jealousy then I don't know what is. _Bruce snapped back.

Neither spoke to the other for the rest of the night, but they both knew this wasn't over. Not by a long shot.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: I am sooo sorry! Between writers block and real life I haven't been able to get a new chapter written up and posted before now._

_Chapter warning: Some light smut, but nothing overly graphic._

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you might recognize.**

The Joker was in heaven. It had been a month now since he had started dating Bruce and they were FINALLY doing more than kissing.

Everytime he had tried to initiate anything during one of their dates the brunette would become tense and stand-offish- and the clown just didn't understand it!

It was obvious that Bruce wanted it as much as he did, but the man always stopped them before they could get to the good parts.

But not today!

Today the Joker had dropped by Bruce's offices for an impromptu lunch date, and now they were near pants-less and finally enjoying each other as they should have been doing all along.

"Oh, Brucey! You're so big!" The clown squealed as he carefully fondled the other man.

"J-Joker! Ah!" Bruce near shouted as he was touched the way he had been longing for for weeks now.

Every date, every kiss, every moment spent in the presence of his clown was watched by Batman, and therefore tainted in its intimacy and ridiculed afterward for no reason. But now was different and he didn't know why he hadn't thought to do this before.

Batman had no interest in Bruce's work and so stayed in his room in their mind until Bruce was done for the day, or an emergency cropped up that required his immediate attention.

The idea to ravish his Joker during lunch was one he had as soon as 'Jack' walked into his office, and the assurance that there would be no deragative comments coming his way had made him take action as soon as he had cleared his lunch schedule- and his afternoon schedule too- with his secretary.

His first move had been to attack the clown's mouth with his own, after that things had progressed rather rapidly.

They were both wanting and needy, they had both been holding back so much for the last month, and they both knew that they wouldn't last long and so didn't even try to hold back.

Cleaning his hand off as Bruce did the same, the Joker finally let his mind wander to the question of why. Why this now and not before?

"If I'd known that all it took to get in your pants was to offer to buy lunch I'd have come by a lot sooner!" He teased as he continued to ponder his real question and they both readjusted their clothes.

Bruce laughed at the implication- As if just anyone could get in his pants!- and tried to answer the unspoken question behind the teasing comment.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now, but the time never felt right." Accepting the given answer at face value with a small kiss, the Joker ran a hand under the still buttoned shirt his Brucey was wearing.

It took a moment for the pleasure induced haze of his brain to take note of the billionaire's sudden stiffening against him, and another to realize that he was caressing quite a terrific scar.

"Bruce, who hurt you?" He asked while trying to sound calm, it was hard to do since all he wanted was to find the one who gave his lover such a jagged mark as he could feel and give them one much worse.

"Joker..." Bruce didn't know what to say.

He could get Batman and let him take over, but then he would lose these moments alone with his clown.

He could brush it all off with a laugh, but Joker was far too intelligent and tenacious to just drop it- he could see the smouldering and possessive anger in the green eyes looking at him.

Or he could just tell the truth, something he had never told anyone before, and just hope that he wouldn't lose his lover in the fallout.

Decision made, Bruce began to take off his shirt.

With every button undone the clown felt another jolt of unease, but he didn't understand it. He wanted to learn everything there was about his Brucey, but he also didn't want to pressure the man and ruin the first good thing he had ever had in his life.

Placing his hand on top of Bruce's, Joker stopped him before he could open the now undone shirt.

"If you're not ready then you don't have to do this." He was desprite to know more, but he could be patient.

Placing a soft kiss on his lover's lips, Bruce pushed the hand stopping his away.

"I want you to know, to know just what and who you're getting involved in." And with that he pulled his shirt off and exposed his collection of scars- some not even fully healed- and looked to the floor so that he didn't have to see the disgust in the Joker's eyes that he was sure would be there.

If he had been watching then he would have seen a wide range of emotions pass across the clown's face, and not one of which was disgust.

Shock was the first, quickly followed by anger and a burning need to kill whoever had done such a horrible thing to his precious little Brucey.

Then came horrified realization as his eyes found the jagged 'J-O-K' from when he had tried to carve his name into Batman's torso a couple of years back.

He had done much of this himself! Was his first thought.

My Brucey is also my Batsy! Was his second thought.

Reaching out a hand to trace one of the raised lines he quickly snatched his hand back not knowing how the man in front of him would react to being touched.

He knew his Brucey needed a comforting hand right now, but he also knew that his Bat hated to be touched with a vengeance.

It was all very confusing. He could see the evidence that plainly showed that his Bruce and Bat were one and the same, but the two were complete opposites and he just couldn't imagine timid little Brucey beating the living daylights out of criminals all night long.

Though it would explain why they had only ever kissed before now, but then that raised even more questions! Like why they had gotten as far as kissing in the first place!

He might as well ask directly as he obviously didn't have enough information to figure this out on his own.

Though he doubted that he would get an answer that he could use, the vigilante always liked to be mysterious. Looking up at the handsome face he had come to know so well- but not well enough, he supposed- he finally asked.

"So you're Bat-" A swift hand slapped over his mouth, though the panicked look he was receiving kept him quiet more than the hand did.

"Don't..." Bruce began, swallowing the lump in his throat he tried again.

"Don't say his name. I don't want him coming out and ruining this time between us." Bruce begged as he hoped that his clown would understand.

But to say that the Joker understood what was going on would be a base lie, he was more confused than ever and his list of questions just kept getting longer.

"Explain." He finally managed, though more gruffly than he had intended. And he didn't miss the was Bruce flinched- in a way Batman never would have- at his sudden snap.

"I-I-I have undiagnosed multiple personality disorder." Bruce finally got out. Though he still couldn't look his clown in the eye he really did want to explain, and maybe have a chance of keeping the man all to himself.

"After... after my parents... well, I just couldn't deal with anything. So he came along to help me. At first he was just my imaginary friend that would give me advise, but eventually- as we grew older- we realized that we weren't normal and that he could take over my body and treat it as his own." So caught up in his telling was he that he didn't realize at first that he was shaking, or that strong arms had drawn him into a warm chest.

"Whenever I couldn't handle a situation he would take over and deal with it, or if I got over-whelmed he would support me or let me retreat until I could handle it on my own again. We eventually split up our time: I would study for the day that I could take over my family's business and he would train himself up so that he could protect us." Turning his face into the long, graceful neck of his lover, Bruce took a shuddering breath and tried to relax; if he didn't then Batman might take notice of his agitation and come out to see what was wrong.

"And when did he first make you put on the mask?" Asked the Joker as he ran a comforting hand through the soft brunette locks of the distressed man in his arms.

All his questions were being answered, but only a fool would be unable to see how much this was affecting Bruce; and the clown suddenly wondered if his lover had ever talked about any of this before with anyone. Probably not, he decided.

"We had just turned nineteen, he had trained hard to protect me but I got car jacked anyway. After that he went on the offensive and developed himself into the... person you now know." Wrapping his arms around the narrow waist of his clown, Bruce finally looked up.

"So... did you mean it before?" When all he received was a blank stare he elaborated.

"Before, when you dumped him," Bruce motioned vaguely to his head, "and you said that you found me 'charmingly adorably' and that you felt protective of me. Did you mean that?" Tightening his arms around narrow hips he waited for an answer.

"You were aware when I drugged him?" What was this sudden feeling he was having, was it guilt?

"Does this mean you remember every encounter I've had with him?" The thought that his gentle Brucey had been subjected to what he had put Bats through- and on more than one occasion too- let alone what the other rouges had done to he vigilante, made a sudden pain appear in his heart.

"No, I haven't watched his nightly encounters since the first few times, I can't stand even that damn grapnel he uses let alone an actual fight. I only started watching his encounters with you after the night of my party." He reassured his clown, but only succeeded in making him more agitated.

"I knocked you senseless then." He murmured.

"No! You knocked him out, not me!" Bruce quickly corrected. He would not have his Joker thinking that Bruce blamed him for anything.

"But I did this." The unhappy clown said while running his fingers over the 'J' he had given Batsy so long ago, and it wasn't even the worst scar he had put on this body!

"Again, no. You fought against... him, but you've never hurt me. I'm use to waking up in the mornings with new stitches and bruises and not knowing just how I got them. You have not hurt me, Joker." He tried to reassure, but knew that the other man would have to work it out on his own. He had been given a great deal to think about after all.

The clown was about to continue with his self hating spiel, but another thought derailed that train.

"He's been on all of our dates! He's why we never did more than kiss!" Leaning back he looked at the blushing cheeks of Brucey and knew he was right.

"He finds corporate work boring so stays in his room during work hours, otherwise... yeah. I just couldn't do anything when he was right there and commenting on everything we did." He knew he was blushing like mad but he just didn't know how to stop.

"So the reason you jumped me is because this was the first chance you had without him looking over your shoulder?" It had been a very round about way to get an answer to his original question, but at least he now knew.

"Yeah. I've wanted to jump you since that kiss after the auction, but he has been very... against it." And that had to be an understatement and a half, the Joker mused.

"Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?" Bruce suddenly asked as he began to fear that this would be too much for his Joker to handle.

"I'd understand if you'd rather go back to dealing with only him, so I won't blame you if-!" He was cut off by a pair of lips slamming into his own.

"He's jealous, you know." He gasped out several minutes later when they finally parted.

"He just won't admit to it." He added, and was rewarded by a soft chuckle from his wonderful clown.

"Of course he is, I chased him for years after all, but that's all over now and he needs to move on. I have you now and I'm not going back so he needs to get over it." They both chuckled at the idea of Batman of all people just getting over something.

"So I will see you tomorrow night?" Bruce just needed to hear it.

"Yes. I would need to be dead or dying to not show up." Standing up he placed a last gentle kiss on his sweet little billionaires lips before making his goodbyes and leaving, he had a lot to think over after all.

Once alone, and cleaned up, Bruce got back to work. And none-to-soon as he felt Batman emerge from his hideout.

_Are you all right? You were agitated there for a while._

_I'm fine, thanks. Just the accounts department being difficult. They wanted to differentiate the dividends-_

_Okay! I'm glad your good, but don't drag me into you corporate babble._

_Ha ha, very funny. You know it's not babble. It's-_

_I know, sorry. Just...(sigh) I've missed this. Bantering with you back and forth, being friends..._

_Yeah, I miss it too._

_Then why don't you-_

_If you tell me to dump him I swear..._

_Fine. But you know I'm just worried, right? I don't want you getting hurt._

_Yeah, I know. But I'm happy, can't you see that?_

_..._

_I have work to do. See you before your patrol tonight?_

_Yeah._

As Batman retreated back into his 'room' he felt a little better, maybe he and Bruce could work through this whole Joker business and get back to where they had been before.

And then he could break the clown in half and make sure he never came between the two of them again.


End file.
